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Motivation, or the sudden lack of
it, is a huge issue with middle schoolers. It’s as if overnight your
previously studious, capable child seems to have become the slacker of the
seventh grade. This shift in attentiveness can leave parents puzzled and looking
for clues about what to do to get their child back on track.
Why now?
For many students, the answer may
be as simple as the fact that they have entered a new and tumultuous phase in
their lives.
Once they leave the cozy, contained
elementary school environment, students are hit with a host of challenges.
Suddenly, they have multiple teachers, each with their own set of assignments
and expectations. On top of this, they need to learn how to juggle
extracurricular activities, sports and budding social lives.
Hormones kick into overdrive,
hairstyles take on new importance, and being an attentive student may suddenly
seem un-cool. It is no wonder why grades and ambition might take a nosedive.
What parents can do
Obviously there is no magic answer
to motivating your child. For some children, underachievement may have roots
that stretch all the way back to the preschool years. For others, difficulties
stemming from learning disabilities may be intensified once they are coupled
with the challenges of middle school.
The key is to look at your own
child’s case, decide whether it is new or on-going, determine what other
factors (such as changes in the family or home environment) might be at play and
then tailor your approach accordingly. Teachers, guidance counselors and support
staff can be great allies in helping keep your child achieving to the best of
his or her abilities.
In the book Why Bright Kids Get
Poor Grades (And What You Can Do About It), Dr. Sylvia Rimm, Ph.D., offers
the following suggestions that can help encourage your child to do well:
- Have positive, realistic
expectations -- Remember to keep your views of achievement realistic and positive
(i.e. doing one’s best is more important than being at the top of the
class/winning the game, etc.). If you are uncertain about whether you are
expecting too much or too little, talk with your child’s guidance counselor or
teacher(s).
- Be a positive motivation role
model -- When talking about your own work, emphasize the satisfactions and
frustrations that go with reaching a goal or finishing a job. This is a great
way to show your child that, despite the hard work and occasional setbacks,
achievement isn’t all drudgery.
Help your child get organized
Motivation can decline if a child doesn’t feel on top of
things --
- Teach your child how to use a
day planner or calendar to keep track of assignments and activities. Have
your child use folders or binders to store paperwork for each subject area.
- Make a space in your home where
your child can do his or her homework.
- Have your child keep all of the
supplies he or she will need to complete assignments in one location. A
storage box with a lid can keep pens, pencils, a calculator and paper
together. Have your child let you know if he or she is running low on
supplies.
- Involve your child in developing
a study routine. Together, agree upon a set time for your child to work on
school assignments. For some students who are lacking motivation, a
"work first/play later" rule can be a good incentive.
Maintain a united parental front--
Parents should be consistent when setting goals for their child. If one
parent sets goals higher than the other parent, children are likely to choose
the easy way out.
Allow your child to make
decisions, within limits -- Encourage independence without giving children more power than they
can handle. Parents should be in charge, although children should be able to
make choices and voice opinions.
Praise your child realistically--
Use words that set goals they’ll be able to achieve. "Bright,"
"creative," "imaginative," "kind," and
"hard-working" are much more realistic than "brilliant,"
"genius," "smartest," and "perfect."
Give your child lots of support
and encouragement -- Although the middle school years are a time when children begin to crave
more independence, they still need clear expectations and understanding of what
they are going through. Your positive, patient support can be one of the best
motivators there is.
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Capital Region BOCES Communications Service at (518)
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