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If there's one time of year that
many teens and their parents both anticipate and dread, it's report card time!
For students who are applying to colleges, the stakes can be quite high –
first quarter grades may mean the difference between being accepted or rejected
by a preferred school. For students who are struggling through Course I Math for
the second year in a row, a grade of C+ or 75 may be cause for downright
jubilation.
So how do you take what is sent
home – the great, the not-so-great and the truly disappointing – and turn it
into a positive learning experience for everyone? Following are some tips from
teachers and guidance counselors:
First, read over the report
card with your children.
Before you react – positively or negatively – ask what they think. Were they
pleased or surprised by any of the comments? What do they believe is going right
or wrong?
If it’s a great report,
let your children know you are proud of them.
Teens may not always admit it, but most do want to please their parents.
Celebrate their successes! But focus as much on their efforts as the end result.
When students bring a "C" up to a "B" or an 85 up to a 90,
it may well be the result of their buckling down and improving their study
habits – for example, by getting every homework assignment in on time or
putting in extra hours preparing for tests. Let your children know you recognize
and appreciate their hard work.
If it’s a disappointing
report, take a deep breath.
Then talk calmly about what they can do to turn things around.
For example, if homework is missing, find out why. Do they use an assignment
notebook? Are outside activities interfering with their ability to focus on
academics? Teens need to believe that you view them as a major part of the
solution. Do some brainstorming along with your children and encourage them to
take responsibility for helping solve the problem.
If you have questions or
concerns, call the guidance office.
A guidance counselor can gather more detailed information and help facilitate
meetings with one or more of your children’s teachers.
Getting the most out of
teacher conferences
A teacher conference may be the
best way to find out what is really happening academically for your child, BOTH
GOOD AND BAD – and don’t let your teen talk you out of one if you feel it is
really needed! Following are some tips on how to get the most positive results
from a conference:
- Before making the call to
request a conference, take the time to figure out why your teen is having
problems in school. Are extracurricular activities eating up too much time
outside of school? Is there a personality conflict with the teacher? Has the
family recently experienced some type of change or crisis? You are the one
who knows the most about what may be affecting your teen. Your insight can
be very helpful.
- It is easy during
conferences to get off subject and not cover some of your concerns. Before
you go into the conference, write down the important points or questions you
want to discuss. Also, take a pad and pen along to jot down new questions or
concerns that may come up during the conference.
- If it is reasonable, ask
that your teen be included in the conference. A young adult is much more
likely to feel like turning things around if he or she is considered to be a
mature and capable participant in the process. If your teen can not be
included in the conference, make sure that afterwards you explain exactly
what was discussed and what, if anything, is expected of him or her.
- If your teen’s teacher or
counselor tells you something that is disappointing or upsetting, try to
stay neutral and use what has been said as a springboard to brainstorm
solutions.
- Accentuate the positive. The
conference is about finding ways of helping your teen be more successful,
which can be difficult if the whole tenor of the conversation is purely
negative. Maybe your teen is having some problems in school, but
undoubtedly, there are some good aspects to his or her performance that can
be celebrated. For example, your son’s English grade may be down, but he
seems to be getting it together in biology. Or his English and biology
grades may both be suffering, but he’s experiencing success in some
out-of-school activity. By acknowledging the positives, you and the teacher
may be better able to help him find strategies for overcoming the negatives.
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For
permission to reprint this article, please contact the
Capital Region BOCES Communications Service at (518)
464-3960.
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