HELP FOR PARENTS OF: HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS

Online safety for teens: Reaping the rewards while avoiding the risks of the Internet

Teenagers crave independence in everything they do, including net navigation. They may exude confidence with technology, but parents cannot mistake knowledge for responsible behavior. Following are tips to help you help your teen reap the rewards while avoiding the risks of the Internet.

Place the home computer in a public area. This will make teens think twice about going to sites and entering chats they know are inappropriate. It will also be easier for you to observe if they unknowingly enter unsafe areas.

Affirm teens’ tech skills. You may feel intimidated by your children’s superior knowledge of the Internet. Turn the situation around and ask them to show you what they know. This is empowering for them and informative for you.

Teach privacy. Teens should never give out personal information without your permission, including name, e-mail, address, school, phone number and photos. Let them know what they risk if they ignore this rule: At minimum, their information could be sold to and misused by another website. At worst, a person they are chatting with could misrepresent himself or herself for harmful purposes. For example, a "15-year-old boy from the next town over" could be a 40-year-old sexual predator. All Internet users, children and adults, should read a website’s privacy policy before giving out personal data.

Instruct your teen NEVER to meet with online acquaintances. The single greatest danger of the Internet is a virtual acquaintance taking advantage of your child in a real meeting.

Tell your teen not to respond to offensive or dangerous communications – even if it means ignoring a degrading remark. If you suspect online "stalking" or sexual exploitation, report it to the police. The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (www.missingkids.com) also has a system to identify online predators and child pornographers. You can use its link "CyberTipline" to file a complaint.

Require your son or daughter to use child-friendly search engines, such as Yahooligans and Google. These search engines and others (ask a librarian or visit www.searchenginewatch.com/links/Kids_Search_Engines) will direct your teens to websites that respect privacy and hold generally acceptable materials for children. If your teen needs to use other search engines, explore them together. It is an opportunity to participate in his or her academic life.

Teach your child how to recognize reliable sources. For a science research project, studies from a scientific journal’s website are going to be more useful than ones from politically motivated groups. On the other hand, there is plenty of room for differing opinions. Show your teen how you would choose between sources and ensure that he or she cites those sources so the teacher can keep an eye out for plagiarism and accuracy.

Consider filtering technology. If you are concerned about what your teen is viewing online, you may want to use filtering software. The programs all work differently and each has its own advantages. So before buying or searching online, determine what you are trying to block. Filters may control outgoing or incoming mail, illegal sites, sexual material or violence and hate activities. They can also limit online time and leave a record of online activities that parents can review at a later point.

Establish clear ground rules. Brainstorm Internet rules together. Sign a contract with your teen. See www.safekids.com/contract.htm for sample pledges for both parents and kids.

Talk honestly about risks. These include meeting people with bad intentions, relinquishing privacy, getting into online fights, being lured into breaking the law, accessing inappropriate material, mistaking lies for truths, and accessing dangerous substances. See www.getnetwise.com/safetyguide for more on each of these risks.

Encourage your teen to confide in you. When your son or daughter comes across something objectionable, don’t react by taking away Internet privileges. This will teach your teen to avoid confiding in you in difficult situations. Instead, talk about the issues encountered.

Think of the Internet as a tool to teach not only information-gathering but also critical thinking and use of sound judgment. According to www.GetNetWise.com, "Today it’s the Internet; tomorrow it may be deciding whether it’s safe to get into the car of someone a teen meets at a party. Later it will be deciding whether a commercial offer really is ‘too good to be true’ or whether it really makes sense to vote for a certain candidate or follow a spiritual guru. Learning how to make good choices is a skill that will last a lifetime."

Can it happen to your son or daughter?

A lot of parents may think their children are immune to the dangers of the Internet, especially if they are not prone to getting into trouble at home or school. Yet experts will tell you that even the most mature and trustworthy youngsters can slowly, often unintentionally, be drawn into inappropriate interactions on the Web. One survey found that one in five teenagers who regularly use the Internet say they have received an unwanted sexual solicitation. Yet only a quarter of those said they told a parent. For that reason, we urge you to read this article with care and to take a proactive approach to protecting your son or daughter from the risks that abound in cyberspace.

 > Back

  For permission to reprint this article, please contact the Capital Region BOCES Communications Service at (518) 464-3960.